Two-Way Communication That is Successful With Your Children

One of the uppermost irritating tests we face as mother or fathers is communicating effectively with our youngster. Though we strive to open an honest two-way line of contact using our children, we get discouraged when it shows up their recognition is not entirely on us or the conversation at hand. Still and all we appear to locate it's perfectly favorable to discuss things by having them while reading the paper, folding outfits, or working on the desktop computer as well as at that point are frequently left wondering when the lines of contact busted.

Children are actually by nature easily distracted as well as not always responsive to their atmosphere. It is the obligation of the mother or father to emphasize indisputable patterns of conversation as well as guarantee the kid studies that overlooking contact is not agreeable. Early prevention, in the application of enlightening your child regarding the right applications of conversation, is the key to ensuring that the non-verbal contract does not take hold. Teach the youngster by illustration. Continue being entirely focused on themas well as the talk at hand. Turn off the television; permit calls to go to the voicemail, or go in a room where there are no distractions.Chat to your child, and express to them in age-appropriate phrases how they are actually communicating and why their method does not work. Program your child exactly how to communicate effectively, even when the questions are actually hard.Make yourself a lively listener. Allow them to voice their viewpoint or side of the story and ask points to ensure you know their viewpoint.
Be steadfast in the manner in which you communicate by having your kid, send the same message by having each and every interaction. Enable your teenager to see that you will definitely phone their recognition to those times that the undesirable behavior rears in their uninviting head.

Children are going to be actually children and they are going to in some cases be distractive as well as non-communicative. You are actually the professional in recognizing the child's behavior as well as be the finest judge the improvement in their contacts. The best method to make certain healthy and balanced communication patterns is actually to model positive conversation talents.

Toddlers With Even the Best Behavior has Temper Tantrums

Even the greatest behaved toddler has an occasional temper tantrum. A tantrum can vary from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding. They are actually every bit as usual in boys as well as girls. Tantrums typically take place from age 1 to age 3. Some youngsters might experience regular tantrums, whereas for other youngsters, tantrums may be actually unusual. Some children are more prone to throwing a temper tantrum than others.

Toddlers are actually seeking to master the globe and when they aren't prepared to complete an undertaking, they often utilize one of the only tools at their disposal for venting out aggravation - a tantrum. There are actually a number of primary origins of tantrums that are recognizable to parent or guardians all around you: The kid is actually aspiring for attention or is actually palled, hungry, or uncomfortable. In addition, tantrums are actually the result of kids's frustration using the globe. Aggravation is actually an unavoidable part of kid's lives as they study exactly how individuals, items, and their own bodies work.Tantrums are actually usual during the second year of life, a time when toddlers are actually obtaining language. Toddlers normally recognize beyond what they can express. As language talents improve, tantrums tend to reduce.

Keep off-limits items out of sight and out of reach, which are going to make struggles less likely to develop over them. Distract the youngster. Take advantage of the youngster's short recognition span by providing a replacing for the desired item or commencing a new activityto restore the aggravating or forbidden one. And choose the battles: contemplate the request carefully when the kid wishes something. Is it actually outrageous? Maybe it isn't. Accommodate when possible to avoid an outburst.

Make certain the toddler isn't acting up just since he or she isn't getting enough attention. To a youngster, unfavorable attention (a mom or dad's response to a tantrum) is more desirable than no attention at all. Attempt to create a pattern of following your child being actually really good (" time in"), which suggests rewarding your toddler with thought as well as praise for positive behavior. This will definitely teach them that acting appropriately makes mommy and daddy delighted as well as proud, and they 'll be anxious to do it over and over again.

How to Deal With a Tantrum in Progress

You really want to get a tantrum stopped before it develops a life all its own, but you know that in real life, that doesn't always happen, so you need to be prepared with some sound practices before you have to deal with your child's tantrum in progress in the checkout line at the store. By planning ahead and being prepared, you will be able to handle these tough parenting situations and start to enjoy going places with the kids.

Here are some tips to use that will help you deal with a tantrum in progress:

Remain Calm: Losing your cool is sure to make it worse and don't argue with your child, either. If you can't control yourself, how can you expect your child to control themselves? Do whatever you have to do to keep yourself calm (count to 10, use the "I love my children, I love my children" mantra...) and get your own emotions under control.

Act Not React: Think before you do anything. Why is your child losing it? Is this related to your child's disability, a learned reaction, or is this a new response? Before you just react, and probably make things worse, think of what could be the real underlying cause and what you can do now.

Take Action: Intervene before things get completely out of control. Get down at the child's eye level and say, "You are starting to get revved up, slow down." This works great with the Alert Program "How does your engine run?" - Which we use and I do recommend.

Positively Distract: Redirect the child by getting him/her focused on something else. For example, you might use the line "Do you want to go look at the fish?" Some kids will fall for this one, but I know my girls are very difficult to distract once they reach the tantrum stage.

Leave: Leave everything right where it is, and calmly take your child out of the building or to a more private and quiet place until things calm down.

Hold: Holding the child who is out of control and is going to hurt himself or someone else is for safety only. Let them know that you will let go as soon as they calm down. Tell your child that everything will be all right and do what you can to help them calm down.

Time Out: Time out works effectively if you apply it consistently. My kids know that there are corners (our naughty spot) anywhere we go. If you are embarrassed, take your child out of a public place, use your car if you need. Come down to the child's level and calmly explain why they are in time out and how long they will stay there. Use the one minute for each year rule.

Wait It Out: It is an exercise in futility to attempt reasoning with a child - especially one in the middle of a total meltdown! Often, the tantrum will just have to run its course, so depending on where you are you may need to place the child in a safe location to wait it out. One of my daughters (she is 10 now, so this has been 5 or 6 years ago) could throw a fit the likes of which you would not believe. Dealing with tantrums with her was literally impossible, so we would put her someplace quiet to ride out the storm. Sometimes it took several hours before she wore herself out and fell asleep.

Do Not Be Tempted: Never give in to your child's tantrum. Oh yes, it is sooo tempting - especially in a public place to just give in, but don't do it! The hardest behavior to change is behavior that has been intermittently reinforced - which means if you give in once or twice just to keep the peace in the grocery store you have taught your child that if they just keep up the tantrum long enough or loud enough they WILL get what they want. So they continue to tantrum at every opportunity - you know - like every time you have to say "no" to something your child wants. Just don't give in! (No one said this was going to easy.)

After the Tantrum Stops: The post tantrums cool down stage. This is the time to talk and reinforce the lessons you are teaching your child about behavior and communication. Listen to your child and try to get to the real source of their anger or frustration. Try to solve the problem together, as this is a good time to get your child to think and come up with solutions and alternatives on their own. Use the "what do you think would be a better way to..." approach to encourage their input. This is also a good time to teach new techniques and ways of dealing with emotions, recognizing the signs of losing control, and ways your child can take action on their own to stay at that "just right" state.

Tips on How to Deal With Panic Attacks In Children

Anxiety attacks, better known as "panic attacks", are often thought to be a by-product of adult living. You may be surprised to discover, however, that children can also suffer from panic attacks, though often they go unnoticed or are not properly diagnosed. Unfortunately, if a panic attack is not treated, there can be serious averse effects involved.

So just what is a panic attack? A panic attack causes a person to feel "out of control". They are gripped by anxiety and fear, and are often unable to function to any extent while suffering the attack. More often than not, a person who has a panic attack cannot even tell you when or why it occurs - it just does.

These episodes are frightening for adults, but can easily be even more frightening for children who are clueless as to what is happening to them and why it is occurring. For children, a panic attack usually lasts for 15 seconds or less. During the attack, they often feel and appear to be out of control. Their peers may see them as being "crazy" because of this condition, which is extremely embarrassing for the child. The judgments they will face if they continue to have panic attacks in front of other children is reason alone to be sure it is taken care of.

The effects of a panic attack greatly vary from person to person, but generally these attacks are associated with cardiovascular problems and nervous breakdowns. The list below shows some of the most common symptoms of panic attacks in children:

- Feelings of dread and fear
- Heart palpitations/rapid heart beat
- Dizziness
- Choking/Gasping for air
- Excessive sweating
- Uncontrollable trembling
- Irrational thoughts and feelings

Remember, these are only some of the more common symptoms. Your child may display other symptoms not found on this list. Be aware of the signs of a panic attack, and be sure to seek prompt treatment from professionals. This is perhaps more important than even adults seeking treatment, as the severity of the attacks are more prone to increase in children and may result in being fatal.

As with adults, emotional and traumatic experiences are typically what initiate a panic attack in children. It is important that, if a child has suffered the loss of a loved one or has what may seem to be a "silly" fear at the time (i.e. afraid of the dark) that you take appropriate steps to soothe and talk to the child. Remember that children often have also not yet developed the coping skills necessary to explain and defend themselves in front of their peers at school, whom they are forced to confront on almost a daily basis. A child's sinking social status at school can lead to several issues: drop in grades, social anxiety, anger, and depression just to name a few.

So take the time to talk to your child. Ask them how they feel when they have a panic attack, and let them know that it's a normal and very treatable disorder. Take advantage of the help and many resources out there to ensure that your child has the best start to life as possible.

The Angry Child - How to Deal With Him

A book by child psychologist Dr. Timothy Murphy, entitled "The Angry Child: Regaining Control When Your Child is Out of Control" points out that some anger and some outbursts are normal in all children. This article will address the angry pre-adolescent or teenager.

When, and how, did everything change? One day your normally sunny, cooperative, pleasant child, who rarely had an angry outburst, turns into someone you hardly know-someone who seems to go out of his or her way to be angry. Now you're dealing with angry outbursts and nasty battles over every little thing. And not just angry outbursts, but really ugly ones that frustrate you so that you say things you shouldn't, and all parties are left wounded and fearful of the next battle.

Dealing with the angry child can be a real challenge. You feel held hostage to your teen's anger, defiance, and outbursts. You're embarrassed and angry, and even intimidated so that you shrink from saying or doing what you know you should, just to avoid the next blowup.

Something is awfully, terribly wrong, and it's tearing you, your child, and the whole family into painful little pieces. You're the adult, and you know you need to figure out what's going on, and how to cope with it and repair it.

But how do you do that? How do you get to the bottom of it when your angry, defiant child thinks you don't understand anything, and when he won't open up. You attempt to relate, but you get nothing. You're afraid that if you don't get things turned around, your angry, defiant child may turn into an angry, defiant adult-unhappy, aggressive, and maybe even in trouble with the law.

First of all, you need to get an understanding of exactly what the issues are. What are the specific events that trigger the upset and anger? What is your response, and how does it make the situation worse, or better? What underlies the anger, rage and defiance? Anger is usually a response to frustration, feelings of rejection, sadness, low self-esteem, or fear, so which of those factors are present, and how can you help your child deal with them?

Other common factors underlying the angry child are ADHD, learning disabilities, depression, or situations with peers which he or she doesn't know how to deal with.

There are lots of books and tapes and programs dealing with all this. You might be able to learn enough on your own to analyze things yourself. You'll probably do better to get a child psychologist to do a thorough evaluation, though. Your teen is likely to be more willing to tell a third party more about what's going on. Also, the psychologist is probably better able than you are of understanding the meaning of feelings, behaviors and events.

Anger tends to beget anger, so a parent of an angry child needs to look at his or her own behavior when the child's anger erupts. Do you blow up yourself? You can't demand that your child express his anger appropriately if you, his role model, can't control your own anger. Anger and lack of self-control in a parent is extremely frightening to children, even older ones, so if you can't stay calm in the face of your child's outbursts, it's important that you deal with this, and learn to do so, or it's unlikely that you'll have much success with the other tools and techniques you learn.

Once you do have a clear understanding of the whole situation, including how your own behavior plays into it, you can determine an optimum approach and the techniques necessary to deal with your angry child.

There are many tools and programs available:

1. There are dozens of books available in the library or at the bookstore. There are lots of downloadable books available on the web.

2. If depression or ADHD is present, counseling and/or medication can be helpful. Standalone individual counseling isn't usually very effective, though it can be when it's accompanied by other approaches. Family counseling is usually more effective. Even if your child isn't cooperative, you'll pick up some things.

3. A technique called "Parent Management Training" seems to be the most helpful approach in most cases. One of the things that these programs teach parents is how to reinforce positive behavior and extinguish negative behavior.

4. In extreme cases, a therapeutic or residential boarding school can be a lifesaver. A boarding school provides structure and discipline, and usually focuses on dealing with the underlying causes of the anger, rather than just the anger itself. Dealing with causes is much more effective than dealing with symptoms.

You should remember that there actually is hope. Most angry, defiant teens do survive this phase, and they go on to mature into productive and responsible, law-abiding adults. You'll probably be able to have a good relationship with your child, and know that those difficult years were simply a developmental phase which you assisted him to get through.

How to Deal With a Bossy Child

Every parent wants to have the perfect child. However, no child is perfect. Parents have a lot of different things to deal with as they are raising their children, some issues are big and some are small, and some problems need to be dealt with before they get out of control! One of those issues is having a child who is very bossy. This child tells everyone what to do, even adults. So what can you do if you have a bossy child?

You need to first look for the source of the problem. It's likely that someone is showing your child this behavior. So who is the bad example? It could be you, another parent, a teacher, or another child. Your child could be modeling behavior that they are observing. Often the source is right in your own home. Perhaps it is an older sibling or even parents. We often don't see negative behavior in ourselves, but if you step back and take a close look at how you treat others you may see a little bossy behavior in yourself. Once you identify the person who your child is imitating, find a way to graciously talk to the person about setting a better example. Perhaps they don't realize how closely they are watched by children.

Talk to your child about their bossy attitude. Let them know it is unacceptable and that they will be punished for the behavior. The key to making this work is to follow through with the punishment. Make them have a few minute time-out whenever they are caught bossing someone around. Your child definitely will not like being punished, but it will give them a chance to think about their behavior and it will make them think twice before they do it again.

Explain to other children and adults in your home and circle of friends that they do not need to do what the demanding child asks them to. If you bossy child can't get any results from their behavior, soon they may tire of it. Of course they will become frustrated and could even through a tantrum or two in the meantime, but the point will get across eventually.

Don't reward your child when they are being bossy. If you are shopping with your kids and the bossy one demands that you buy them a certain thing, don't give in. Why would you reward bad behavior? Show your child who is really the boss and stay in control. Now this doesn't mean your child doesn't deserve the occasional treat or gift. Just don't give it to them when they are being bossy.

All children go through stages as they are growing up, so it should give you some sense of comfort that this stage won't last very long. That is, if you take the time to correct the behavior now!

How to Deal With a Hyperactive Child

When children are easily bored or don't have the ability to focus on a single task, they are often suffered from attention deficit hyperactive disorder or ADHD. Children with this kind of disorders often have annoying bouts of hyperactivity and impulsive behavior. Although some requires medical help, some may only need parental guidance to improve their behavior. Below are some tips that you can follow on how to deal with a hyperactive child.

· Most often, a child who is hyperactive has lots of physical energy, and frequently running around or do things that may get him into trouble. Your child needs to be involved in different activities in order to release his energy. You may try to enroll him in some sports like football, soccer, swimming, martial arts or any sports that you know he can positively get into. You can also try to enroll him in a dance class, as this can be more enjoyable for him. It is also better if you give your child a task at home or any activity that will engage him physically.

· Set different household rules and regulations. Explain to your child what are the things that can only be applied inside the house and the things that can only be applied outside the house. For example, it is not allowed to run inside the house, or it is not allowed to scream inside the house especially at night. If any of your rules is disobeyed, your child gets the consequence like he is required to stay outside for a given time.

· One technique that has been proven effective on how to deal with a hyperactive child is the push the wall technique, where one stand facing the wall with one knee bent and the other leg extended behind him while pushing the wall with all his energy. This is effective in lessening the anxiety, agitation and uneasiness. This technique when done will have positive outcome of feeling more relaxed and calm. You can apply this technique and train your child to do this so that in case your child become aggressive or out of control, this will be served as alternative to calm him.

· Another technique that can also effective on how to handle hyperactive child is the use of chill-out chair. This is effective in disciplining the child or you can use this when you feel that your child is losing his sense of control. You can do this by putting him in the chill-out chair for few minutes and giving him something to read to get him busy. If he misbehaves, you can take his reading material and add another few minutes to the time. You can keep on adding few minutes to the time until he composed himself.

· One more way on how to handle hyperactive child is to engage him in a family or group exercise. If you implement this kind of exercise in your everyday life with your child, you will both benefit its advantage it can give. Your child can manage restlessness, anxiety and stress and so you will, too.