Sunday, October 30, 2011

Two-Way Communication That is Successful With Your Children

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One of the uppermost irritating tests we face as mother or fathers is communicating effectively with our youngster. Though we strive to open an honest two-way line of contact using our children, we get discouraged when it shows up their recognition is not entirely on us or the conversation at hand. Still and all we appear to locate it's perfectly favorable to discuss things by having them while reading the paper, folding outfits, or working on the desktop computer as well as at that point are frequently left wondering when the lines of contact busted.

Children are actually by nature easily distracted as well as not always responsive to their atmosphere. It is the obligation of the mother or father to emphasize indisputable patterns of conversation as well as guarantee the kid studies that overlooking contact is not agreeable. Early prevention, in the application of enlightening your child regarding the right applications of conversation, is the key to ensuring that the non-verbal contract does not take hold. Teach the youngster by illustration. Continue being entirely focused on themas well as the talk at hand. Turn off the television; permit calls to go to the voicemail, or go in a room where there are no distractions.Chat to your child, and express to them in age-appropriate phrases how they are actually communicating and why their method does not work. Program your child exactly how to communicate effectively, even when the questions are actually hard.Make yourself a lively listener. Allow them to voice their viewpoint or side of the story and ask points to ensure you know their viewpoint.
Be steadfast in the manner in which you communicate by having your kid, send the same message by having each and every interaction. Enable your teenager to see that you will definitely phone their recognition to those times that the undesirable behavior rears in their uninviting head.

Children are going to be actually children and they are going to in some cases be distractive as well as non-communicative. You are actually the professional in recognizing the child's behavior as well as be the finest judge the improvement in their contacts. The best method to make certain healthy and balanced communication patterns is actually to model positive conversation talents.

Toddlers With Even the Best Behavior has Temper Tantrums

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Even the greatest behaved toddler has an occasional temper tantrum. A tantrum can vary from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding. They are actually every bit as usual in boys as well as girls. Tantrums typically take place from age 1 to age 3. Some youngsters might experience regular tantrums, whereas for other youngsters, tantrums may be actually unusual. Some children are more prone to throwing a temper tantrum than others.

Toddlers are actually seeking to master the globe and when they aren't prepared to complete an undertaking, they often utilize one of the only tools at their disposal for venting out aggravation - a tantrum. There are actually a number of primary origins of tantrums that are recognizable to parent or guardians all around you: The kid is actually aspiring for attention or is actually palled, hungry, or uncomfortable. In addition, tantrums are actually the result of kids's frustration using the globe. Aggravation is actually an unavoidable part of kid's lives as they study exactly how individuals, items, and their own bodies work.Tantrums are actually usual during the second year of life, a time when toddlers are actually obtaining language. Toddlers normally recognize beyond what they can express. As language talents improve, tantrums tend to reduce.

Keep off-limits items out of sight and out of reach, which are going to make struggles less likely to develop over them. Distract the youngster. Take advantage of the youngster's short recognition span by providing a replacing for the desired item or commencing a new activityto restore the aggravating or forbidden one. And choose the battles: contemplate the request carefully when the kid wishes something. Is it actually outrageous? Maybe it isn't. Accommodate when possible to avoid an outburst.

Make certain the toddler isn't acting up just since he or she isn't getting enough attention. To a youngster, unfavorable attention (a mom or dad's response to a tantrum) is more desirable than no attention at all. Attempt to create a pattern of following your child being actually really good (" time in"), which suggests rewarding your toddler with thought as well as praise for positive behavior. This will definitely teach them that acting appropriately makes mommy and daddy delighted as well as proud, and they 'll be anxious to do it over and over again.
Friday, October 14, 2011

How to Deal With a Tantrum in Progress

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You really want to get a tantrum stopped before it develops a life all its own, but you know that in real life, that doesn't always happen, so you need to be prepared with some sound practices before you have to deal with your child's tantrum in progress in the checkout line at the store. By planning ahead and being prepared, you will be able to handle these tough parenting situations and start to enjoy going places with the kids.





Here are some tips to use that will help you deal with a tantrum in progress:





Remain Calm: Losing your cool is sure to make it worse and don't argue with your child, either. If you can't control yourself, how can you expect your child to control themselves? Do whatever you have to do to keep yourself calm (count to 10, use the "I love my children, I love my children" mantra...) and get your own emotions under control.





Act Not React: Think before you do anything. Why is your child losing it? Is this related to your child's disability, a learned reaction, or is this a new response? Before you just react, and probably make things worse, think of what could be the real underlying cause and what you can do now.





Take Action: Intervene before things get completely out of control. Get down at the child's eye level and say, "You are starting to get revved up, slow down." This works great with the Alert Program "How does your engine run?" - Which we use and I do recommend.





Positively Distract: Redirect the child by getting him/her focused on something else. For example, you might use the line "Do you want to go look at the fish?" Some kids will fall for this one, but I know my girls are very difficult to distract once they reach the tantrum stage.





Leave: Leave everything right where it is, and calmly take your child out of the building or to a more private and quiet place until things calm down.





Hold: Holding the child who is out of control and is going to hurt himself or someone else is for safety only. Let them know that you will let go as soon as they calm down. Tell your child that everything will be all right and do what you can to help them calm down.





Time Out: Time out works effectively if you apply it consistently. My kids know that there are corners (our naughty spot) anywhere we go. If you are embarrassed, take your child out of a public place, use your car if you need. Come down to the child's level and calmly explain why they are in time out and how long they will stay there. Use the one minute for each year rule.





Wait It Out: It is an exercise in futility to attempt reasoning with a child - especially one in the middle of a total meltdown! Often, the tantrum will just have to run its course, so depending on where you are you may need to place the child in a safe location to wait it out. One of my daughters (she is 10 now, so this has been 5 or 6 years ago) could throw a fit the likes of which you would not believe. Dealing with tantrums with her was literally impossible, so we would put her someplace quiet to ride out the storm. Sometimes it took several hours before she wore herself out and fell asleep.





Do Not Be Tempted: Never give in to your child's tantrum. Oh yes, it is sooo tempting - especially in a public place to just give in, but don't do it! The hardest behavior to change is behavior that has been intermittently reinforced - which means if you give in once or twice just to keep the peace in the grocery store you have taught your child that if they just keep up the tantrum long enough or loud enough they WILL get what they want. So they continue to tantrum at every opportunity - you know - like every time you have to say "no" to something your child wants. Just don't give in! (No one said this was going to easy.)





After the Tantrum Stops: The post tantrums cool down stage. This is the time to talk and reinforce the lessons you are teaching your child about behavior and communication. Listen to your child and try to get to the real source of their anger or frustration. Try to solve the problem together, as this is a good time to get your child to think and come up with solutions and alternatives on their own. Use the "what do you think would be a better way to..." approach to encourage their input. This is also a good time to teach new techniques and ways of dealing with emotions, recognizing the signs of losing control, and ways your child can take action on their own to stay at that "just right" state.





Tips on How to Deal With Panic Attacks In Children

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Anxiety attacks, better known as "panic attacks", are often thought to be a by-product of adult living. You may be surprised to discover, however, that children can also suffer from panic attacks, though often they go unnoticed or are not properly diagnosed. Unfortunately, if a panic attack is not treated, there can be serious averse effects involved.





So just what is a panic attack? A panic attack causes a person to feel "out of control". They are gripped by anxiety and fear, and are often unable to function to any extent while suffering the attack. More often than not, a person who has a panic attack cannot even tell you when or why it occurs - it just does.





These episodes are frightening for adults, but can easily be even more frightening for children who are clueless as to what is happening to them and why it is occurring. For children, a panic attack usually lasts for 15 seconds or less. During the attack, they often feel and appear to be out of control. Their peers may see them as being "crazy" because of this condition, which is extremely embarrassing for the child. The judgments they will face if they continue to have panic attacks in front of other children is reason alone to be sure it is taken care of.





The effects of a panic attack greatly vary from person to person, but generally these attacks are associated with cardiovascular problems and nervous breakdowns. The list below shows some of the most common symptoms of panic attacks in children:





- Feelings of dread and fear
- Heart palpitations/rapid heart beat
- Dizziness
- Choking/Gasping for air
- Excessive sweating
- Uncontrollable trembling
- Irrational thoughts and feelings





Remember, these are only some of the more common symptoms. Your child may display other symptoms not found on this list. Be aware of the signs of a panic attack, and be sure to seek prompt treatment from professionals. This is perhaps more important than even adults seeking treatment, as the severity of the attacks are more prone to increase in children and may result in being fatal.





As with adults, emotional and traumatic experiences are typically what initiate a panic attack in children. It is important that, if a child has suffered the loss of a loved one or has what may seem to be a "silly" fear at the time (i.e. afraid of the dark) that you take appropriate steps to soothe and talk to the child. Remember that children often have also not yet developed the coping skills necessary to explain and defend themselves in front of their peers at school, whom they are forced to confront on almost a daily basis. A child's sinking social status at school can lead to several issues: drop in grades, social anxiety, anger, and depression just to name a few.





So take the time to talk to your child. Ask them how they feel when they have a panic attack, and let them know that it's a normal and very treatable disorder. Take advantage of the help and many resources out there to ensure that your child has the best start to life as possible.

The Angry Child - How to Deal With Him

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A book by child psychologist Dr. Timothy Murphy, entitled "The Angry Child: Regaining Control When Your Child is Out of Control" points out that some anger and some outbursts are normal in all children. This article will address the angry pre-adolescent or teenager.

When, and how, did everything change? One day your normally sunny, cooperative, pleasant child, who rarely had an angry outburst, turns into someone you hardly know-someone who seems to go out of his or her way to be angry. Now you're dealing with angry outbursts and nasty battles over every little thing. And not just angry outbursts, but really ugly ones that frustrate you so that you say things you shouldn't, and all parties are left wounded and fearful of the next battle.

Dealing with the angry child can be a real challenge. You feel held hostage to your teen's anger, defiance, and outbursts. You're embarrassed and angry, and even intimidated so that you shrink from saying or doing what you know you should, just to avoid the next blowup.

Something is awfully, terribly wrong, and it's tearing you, your child, and the whole family into painful little pieces. You're the adult, and you know you need to figure out what's going on, and how to cope with it and repair it.

But how do you do that? How do you get to the bottom of it when your angry, defiant child thinks you don't understand anything, and when he won't open up. You attempt to relate, but you get nothing. You're afraid that if you don't get things turned around, your angry, defiant child may turn into an angry, defiant adult-unhappy, aggressive, and maybe even in trouble with the law.

First of all, you need to get an understanding of exactly what the issues are. What are the specific events that trigger the upset and anger? What is your response, and how does it make the situation worse, or better? What underlies the anger, rage and defiance? Anger is usually a response to frustration, feelings of rejection, sadness, low self-esteem, or fear, so which of those factors are present, and how can you help your child deal with them?

Other common factors underlying the angry child are ADHD, learning disabilities, depression, or situations with peers which he or she doesn't know how to deal with.

There are lots of books and tapes and programs dealing with all this. You might be able to learn enough on your own to analyze things yourself. You'll probably do better to get a child psychologist to do a thorough evaluation, though. Your teen is likely to be more willing to tell a third party more about what's going on. Also, the psychologist is probably better able than you are of understanding the meaning of feelings, behaviors and events.

Anger tends to beget anger, so a parent of an angry child needs to look at his or her own behavior when the child's anger erupts. Do you blow up yourself? You can't demand that your child express his anger appropriately if you, his role model, can't control your own anger. Anger and lack of self-control in a parent is extremely frightening to children, even older ones, so if you can't stay calm in the face of your child's outbursts, it's important that you deal with this, and learn to do so, or it's unlikely that you'll have much success with the other tools and techniques you learn.

Once you do have a clear understanding of the whole situation, including how your own behavior plays into it, you can determine an optimum approach and the techniques necessary to deal with your angry child.

There are many tools and programs available:

1. There are dozens of books available in the library or at the bookstore. There are lots of downloadable books available on the web.

2. If depression or ADHD is present, counseling and/or medication can be helpful. Standalone individual counseling isn't usually very effective, though it can be when it's accompanied by other approaches. Family counseling is usually more effective. Even if your child isn't cooperative, you'll pick up some things.

3. A technique called "Parent Management Training" seems to be the most helpful approach in most cases. One of the things that these programs teach parents is how to reinforce positive behavior and extinguish negative behavior.

4. In extreme cases, a therapeutic or residential boarding school can be a lifesaver. A boarding school provides structure and discipline, and usually focuses on dealing with the underlying causes of the anger, rather than just the anger itself. Dealing with causes is much more effective than dealing with symptoms.

You should remember that there actually is hope. Most angry, defiant teens do survive this phase, and they go on to mature into productive and responsible, law-abiding adults. You'll probably be able to have a good relationship with your child, and know that those difficult years were simply a developmental phase which you assisted him to get through.

How to Deal With a Bossy Child

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Every parent wants to have the perfect child. However, no child is perfect. Parents have a lot of different things to deal with as they are raising their children, some issues are big and some are small, and some problems need to be dealt with before they get out of control! One of those issues is having a child who is very bossy. This child tells everyone what to do, even adults. So what can you do if you have a bossy child?







You need to first look for the source of the problem. It's likely that someone is showing your child this behavior. So who is the bad example? It could be you, another parent, a teacher, or another child. Your child could be modeling behavior that they are observing. Often the source is right in your own home. Perhaps it is an older sibling or even parents. We often don't see negative behavior in ourselves, but if you step back and take a close look at how you treat others you may see a little bossy behavior in yourself. Once you identify the person who your child is imitating, find a way to graciously talk to the person about setting a better example. Perhaps they don't realize how closely they are watched by children.







Talk to your child about their bossy attitude. Let them know it is unacceptable and that they will be punished for the behavior. The key to making this work is to follow through with the punishment. Make them have a few minute time-out whenever they are caught bossing someone around. Your child definitely will not like being punished, but it will give them a chance to think about their behavior and it will make them think twice before they do it again.







Explain to other children and adults in your home and circle of friends that they do not need to do what the demanding child asks them to. If you bossy child can't get any results from their behavior, soon they may tire of it. Of course they will become frustrated and could even through a tantrum or two in the meantime, but the point will get across eventually.







Don't reward your child when they are being bossy. If you are shopping with your kids and the bossy one demands that you buy them a certain thing, don't give in. Why would you reward bad behavior? Show your child who is really the boss and stay in control. Now this doesn't mean your child doesn't deserve the occasional treat or gift. Just don't give it to them when they are being bossy.







All children go through stages as they are growing up, so it should give you some sense of comfort that this stage won't last very long. That is, if you take the time to correct the behavior now!




How to Deal With a Hyperactive Child

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When children are easily bored or don't have the ability to focus on a single task, they are often suffered from attention deficit hyperactive disorder or ADHD. Children with this kind of disorders often have annoying bouts of hyperactivity and impulsive behavior. Although some requires medical help, some may only need parental guidance to improve their behavior. Below are some tips that you can follow on how to deal with a hyperactive child.

· Most often, a child who is hyperactive has lots of physical energy, and frequently running around or do things that may get him into trouble. Your child needs to be involved in different activities in order to release his energy. You may try to enroll him in some sports like football, soccer, swimming, martial arts or any sports that you know he can positively get into. You can also try to enroll him in a dance class, as this can be more enjoyable for him. It is also better if you give your child a task at home or any activity that will engage him physically.

· Set different household rules and regulations. Explain to your child what are the things that can only be applied inside the house and the things that can only be applied outside the house. For example, it is not allowed to run inside the house, or it is not allowed to scream inside the house especially at night. If any of your rules is disobeyed, your child gets the consequence like he is required to stay outside for a given time.

· One technique that has been proven effective on how to deal with a hyperactive child is the push the wall technique, where one stand facing the wall with one knee bent and the other leg extended behind him while pushing the wall with all his energy. This is effective in lessening the anxiety, agitation and uneasiness. This technique when done will have positive outcome of feeling more relaxed and calm. You can apply this technique and train your child to do this so that in case your child become aggressive or out of control, this will be served as alternative to calm him.

· Another technique that can also effective on how to handle hyperactive child is the use of chill-out chair. This is effective in disciplining the child or you can use this when you feel that your child is losing his sense of control. You can do this by putting him in the chill-out chair for few minutes and giving him something to read to get him busy. If he misbehaves, you can take his reading material and add another few minutes to the time. You can keep on adding few minutes to the time until he composed himself.

· One more way on how to handle hyperactive child is to engage him in a family or group exercise. If you implement this kind of exercise in your everyday life with your child, you will both benefit its advantage it can give. Your child can manage restlessness, anxiety and stress and so you will, too.

Dealing With Bad Child Behavior - Stop Bad Behavior Now Before Its Out of Control

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Tired of dealing with kids that are out of control, and sick of that Bad Behavior your kids always seem to display at the wrong time? You're not alone, in fact there are thousands of parents out there today that are dealing with kids that are constantly displaying negative behavior. Unfortunately, while it's easy to get in a rut of allowing your kids to behave badly, until they get out of control, eventually this begins to negatively affect the entire family in some way.



Children that display Bad Behavior on a regular basis, throw tantrums, and argue and fight are not only frustrating, but they can have a negative effect on the entire family. If you are feeling that you are trapped in your own home with kids that are terrors there is definitely something wrong. Children that are out of control are more than a frustration, but can be the cause of a lot of stress in your life. In fact, the entire family may be stressed out because of a child that is constantly displaying bad behavior.



Unfortunately there many parents give in to their kids instead of standing up to them. They feel that if they give in they can keep the peace. The problem is that this never works. While giving in may bring about temporary peace, long lasting peace is not going to happen this way. You'll soon find that your kids are totally ruling your life. Parents become imprisoned in their own homes, caught up in the demands of their children. This is no way to live your life and it's very unhealthy for everyone.



Sadly it's because parents want to be friends with their children that this often occurs. This is especially true in families where parents work a lot. When they are able to spend some time with the kids, they hate looking like the bad person. However, you must remember that you aren't supposed to be your child's friend, you are their parent. This includes you having the responsibility and authority to make the decisions, not allowing your child to be the one that is constantly calling the shots. A family that is control and functioning happily is much more important that ensuring your give your child everything they want in order to stay their friend.



So many parents find themselves at their wits end, trying to figure out how they can once again have peace and happiness in their home. Some try going to professional therapists for help, only to deal with failure and to see no results in their home. It may be time that you find something that will bring peace to your family once and for all.

How to Deal With a Child Who Has Out-Bursts

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Do you have a child who is as normal as can be and sweet as pie one minute, but the moment you say they can't have something they have an over the top explosion? As a former nanny here's my two cents on how to help children who have such volcano like behavior eruptions. During the outburst try to remain as calm as possible. Keep to your no and don't negotiate. If you don't, you're setting yourself up for further flare-ups and more negotiations. Let's face it when your child grows up and his or her boss says the work at hand needs to be done by tomorrow, flying off the handle to the boss will not solve the problem. Nor will the boss want to negotiate. I believe a child's young life is practice for the real world. As a parent it is your job to make sure your child is as best prepared for it as possible.

Now back to the topic at hand. If your child has frequent outbursts about certain things, such as, every time you go the grocery store they scream they NEED gum, you have two choices. Go to the grocery store at a time when you don't have to take your child or stick to your no they can't have gum. A child will only push and push if they know there's a chance you will give in. Or give them something else. Let's visit a different situation. Your child wants to stay at a friend's house when it time to go home. You say no it's time to go home and have dinner. Your child vehemently disagrees with a loud, "BUT I WANT TO STAY!" You can try to reason up the kazoo with your child about how it's not polite to overstay a visit. But let's face it, your child doesn't care. He or she only cares about staying. And be sensible, you're not reasoning with an adult your dealing with a child. Children are not mini-adults. That's why they're called kids. I have found some parents like to reason "to" their child about a situation because it makes them, the adult, feel better. But this is not about you; it's about your child.

If your child frequently has outbursts about coming home from a play date, or some other similar situation, instead of complaining about it and driving yourself crazy, just stop having play dates for awhile. Explain to your child why. You should do this at a time when they aren't upset. If they start yelling or hitting you because of this, you can tell them this is why you're doing it. Having outbursts which are motivated purely for manipulative purposes should not be tolerated. It won't be when they are adults. You can tell them in a month you can revisit the situation if they are willing to come home without a fuss. If they have a fuss again, do not bribe them to stop the behavior. Do not reward unacceptable behavior. Unless you want it to continue. Bottom line be firm about your decisions. And make sure your spouse is on track with you. And backs you up. Do not undermine each other.

Now, there are times when a child has a right to be upset. Such as all week they're looking forward to having a friend come over and the friend can't come. If your child starts screaming and having a tantrum, remain calm. You can soothe them, but in life they can't have everything they want. Remember children mimic the adults they are around. Do you totally lose it when a friend suddenly can't play tennis with you or when you lose a client? If your child sees such reactions from you they will think having such outbursts are normal. If you don't want certain behavior from your child don't have it yourself.

I'll be honest, most children I've seen who have completely out of control tantrums it's not their first time having one. The key is to be prepared. When your child is having a melt down long winded reasoning or pleading with them about the situation can be like pouring oil on a fire. It won't help. So why do it? You're just stressing how bad the situation is. Like I mentioned, being prepared is the key. If you know your child has outbursts pick a relaxing time to talk to him or her about it. Share ways he or she can harness their rage. Feeling upset is okay, but having physical outbursts is not okay. Simplistic ways for moderate outbursts can be: Counting backwards with your child, saying the alphabet in a funny rhyme, learning how to breathe deeply from the chest and slowly exhaling 10 times. The focus here is to take the mind off the outburst. Having a game plan before the outburst occurs is really what it's about. But remember if your child has been having serious outbursts for some time, it will take time to change their behavior. It takes time to rewire already patterned behavior. But it's worth doing. For your child. And for their future in society.

Parents, Do You Have an Out of Control Child That is Stressing You Out?

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No one ever said that parenting was easy, and in fact, there doesn't seem to be any rhyme nor reason as to why some parents end up with great kids while others suffer sleepless nights thanks to their out of control child or children. Even within the same family, some children are near perfect while another is totally out of control. Why does this happen? How does this happen? We shall take a look at this topic here, and see what can be done about it too!

I know families who swear they have brought their children up with the same standards as another, but still one has gone off the rails. What do I mean by this? Their child has an attitude problem that you wouldn't believe. There is no respect for anyone from this child, and no respect for belongings either. There is little or no communication, since talking generally leads to more rows, and more disrespect from their child or teenager. There are dishonesty issues, tantrums and temper issues to deal with, along with a great deal of defiance.

I think it is generally known that everyone learns in a different way. Some people learn best by be shown something, others from hearing it, others by actually using the information, and this applies equally well to control, whether it is control by a parent, or by a teacher in the classroom. We all tend to learn rights and wrongs differently. A child may respond to discipline by being denied a treat, whereas to another an explanation of the wrong-doing is sufficient.

And then there is the out of control child who doesn't respond to the usual disciplining techniques. These usual techniques result in attitude problems and defiant behaviour. But did you know that there is something called Oppositional Defiant Disorder which is a recognized psychiatric category listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Wikipedia ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oppositional_defiant_disorder ) describes Oppositional Defiant Disorder "as an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behaviour toward authority figures which goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behaviour". In other words, there is in fact a mental disorder which may be affecting your out of control child.

But does knowing about Oppositional Defiant Disorder change anything? Yes it does, to begin with, it gives parents some relief. There child has a disorder, it isn't necessarily their bad parenting skills, and although this sounds strange, this can be a huge relief for parents. They no longer feel guilty that they are at fault for their child's ongoing tantrums and bad behaviour, and also, they are then able to seek medical help and support to deal with their out of control child.

Defiant, Out of Control Or Rebellious Teens - What Can a Parent Do?

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If you are dealing with a difficult, behavior defiant teenager, life at home can be stressful and frustrating. Without a doubt, you have your hands full. Defiant children and teenagers require a relentless parent who loves them enough to consistently work through the issues that are causing stress in the family. But what do you do when you just do not know what to do? My answer to that is learn...seek out help...find solutions. That is your job as a parent; to work through things until it gets better.

Although what you may be going through may require you to learn new tips, techniques or ideas for making a significant change in their behavior, there are still a few things you can start with today. Every bit of effort you put in to your child is worth it. Try some of what I share today, but continue to educate yourself on what to do in different situations. There is always help to be found. Here is one change to begin with that will have a positive impact right away: Stop arguing with your child.

This may sound impossible to do because you have a child who argues with you about everything and anything, all of the time. But it is not. It is simply a choice. Choose not to argue.

The first step is to be sure to do is to control yourself. This includes your words, actions and attitude. Model the behavior you expect from them. If you do not do this, arguments or even conversations will get out of control with your teenager. They are going to push you to try to get a reaction out of you. By controlling yourself, they will not get that reaction. Another thing to consider is that arguing with your teen is teaching them that it is okay to do so themselves. If you simply avoid arguing, they are going to learn to avoid it as well. The result will be that you are helping them learn different ways of dealing with a situation besides quarrelling.

The best thing to remember is that you cannot control the actions of your teenager, but you CAN control you. And by controlling yourself, you will be a powerful example of how to deal with anger or frustration in a positive way. Children learn more by watching, than be listening. Hence, you need to live according to what you say. Model the behavior you expect out of them.

The next step will be to listen to them. When they are trying to start an argument, give them your undivided attention. Hear everything they have to say. Listen intently. This will speak volumes to them. You are showing them respect by giving them your full attention. It shows them that you do indeed care about how they feel and what they want to say, even if you do not agree with it. When they are done, simply use their name, restate what they said, use the word "AND" then tell them your answer. End of conversation. It is at that point you can excuse yourself from the conversation and walk away. No anger or arguing or emotional outburst came out of you. However, your child was listened too with respect, and then given your answer.

It is simple in theory, but will take a commitment on your part to follow through. You can do this. Try it for a while and note the changes you see in yourself, your child and the general atmosphere of the household.

Tina is a happily married WAHM of 4 boys, a freelance writer and advocate for families and parents. She enjoys seeing stressed out parents and broken relationships put back together. All children need their parents, whether they know it or not. And all parents can grow in their parenting skills, just as their children grow in their ability to challenge them.

Family life is great, and if things are difficult and unhappy at home, then you must find the help you need to restore things once again. Your family can be happy, but it may take some work to get there.

How to Deal With ADHD Tantrums

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Nothing can be more frustrating for a parent than an ADHD tantrum. When your child goes into meltdown mode, it's natural for parents to feel like a failure - especially if the tantrum takes place in public. People passing by toss you judgmental looks, and the more sympathetic, well-meaning ones offer "helpful" tips that sound slightly condescending.

Tantrums come hand in hand with childhood ADHD for several reasons. First, young children don't have the same control over their emotions as others their own age; they're impulsive and give in to their feelings rather than thinking their actions through. Children with ADHD are also easily frustrated, and when the world around them doesn't make sense or doesn't go their way, they express this frustration through a tantrum. So what can you do if your child starts throwing a fit? Here are some ways to deal with an ADHD meltdown.

Stay calm

Your child's behavior is out of control, which means you have to stay calm and in control. Acknowledge what your child is feeling without a long lecture, and say that you're willing to work things out reasonable. For instance, if your child is throwing a fit at the supermarket, try to reason by saying, "I know that you want to leave, but you need to wait a few minutes while I finish up."

Don't reward the tantrum

Don't do anything more to the tantrum beyond reasoning with your child. Obviously, you don't want your child to think that throwing a tantrum is the best way to get what he or she wants. Additionally, punishing your child or yelling back will only make things worse and will prolong the behavior in the long run.

Ignore

Sometimes, it's best to simply ignore your child's behavior. Let your child express himself or herself. For instance, if your child started melting down because she wants candy and you say no, ignore the tantrum. It might be very embarrassing, but it's worth it. Giving in to your child's demands will only validate the behavior.

How to avoid ADHD meltdowns

Tantrums indicate that a child is having difficulty doing something. You can avoid tantrums by being aware of your child's tolerance level and identifying situations that trigger meltdowns. For instance, if your child gets bored while doing the groceries, find a babysitter when you need to run errands at the supermarket. Give small rewards when your child behaves - this will reinforce the desired behavior. You might also want to let your child take the reins over small decisions to give him or her a sense of control. Offer choices like, "Do you want to wash the dishes before or after homework?" Once things have calmed down and returned to normal, be sure to give your child a big hug.

How to Prevent Your Children From Getting Out of Control With Simple Discipline Techniques

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Some children can turn into real monsters if you leave them unchecked and let them have their way for a prolonged period of time. The problem here is that some parents just don't know what to do. There is no parenting course that everyone HAS to take that explains the best way to raise a child and what you should and shouldn't do. Here are three dead easy tips on discipline techniques you can use if have a child out of control or want to make sure you don't get one that is out of control.

The first tip is you need to set boundaries. The world isn't fair and we aren't all equal. This means that there are some things you child can do and some things they can't do. They might not like it but that is life. They need to know what these rules are and the only way they can find this out is by you telling them. Children can't read minds so sit down and explain to them what the rules are.

The next step is to tell them what the punishment will be if they break it. It is all good and fine thinking that we all follow rules and behave our best, but this is fairy land material and is far from the truth. Make sure they know what the punishment will be if they do decide to break the rules you set above.

The final step is actually enforcing the rules. Your child knows what the rules are and knows what they should do, but why would they follow it if you don't actually enforce the punishment? It might work a few times but after a while they'll discover that your threats are just that, empty, hollow threats that you NEVER follow through on.

Raising well behaved children isn't impossible. This also doesn't mean that it is easy. Like anything in life, if you want to be good at it or succeed, you'll have to make sure you put in effort and be persistent. The same is true for dealing with your children. If you have an unruly child that has been out of control for far too long, be sure your child knows the rules, how you want them to behave and what will happen if they break your rules. These discipline techniques will make raising a well behaved child much easier to accomplish. It won't happen over night but it will happen.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Out Of Control Children - Working With Teachers

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Figuring out how to control an out of control child is hard enough at home, but what do you do when the school starts calling regularly because your child simply will not behave in the classroom?

Not only is this a socially difficult challenge, but it can be a worrisome one, as well. What if you cannot solve this dilemma? How will your child get the education he needs? How will this affect his friendships with other children?

What if it's even worse. What if no one wants to be your child's friend at all?

These are painful - even frightening - questions that don't always come with straightforward answers.

Here is a short list of things to take seriously when your child is developing a pattern of out of control behavior at school.

- Stay calm.
You know this, of course. Panic never helps, but face it, when you contact your child's teacher or principal to talk you may feel like you are the little kid again and in trouble yourself.

That's understandable. So take a deep breath and remember that you have just become your child's advocate and no one knows your child like you. Even more important, no one cares about your child like you.

- Start a file.
This is far too emotional of a situation to depend upon keeping everything straight in your head. Write down what you want to ask your child's teacher. You'll want to know all the facts: what exactly has your child done that has caused problems? What did the teacher see was the provocation? Always track the approximate time of a difficulty, if you can. You may pick up on a pattern that no one previously saw.

Now, don't use this information as a club over the teacher's head. Show him or her you are on a fact gathering mission to help everyone involved. Which brings us to our next point.

- This is YOUR child; not the teacher's child.
She may be a fantastic teacher but she's got twenty, thirty or more little darlings in her class to deal with everyday for up to eight hours. Chances are high, your child is not her only challenge.

Be gracious. Ask how you can work with her to make the classroom better for everyone. Try to work as a team to improve this unnerving situation.

- See for yourself.
It's one thing to be told your child has an ongoing problem with difficult behavior. It's another thing to witness it yourself.

Don't misunderstand me here. I am currently raising my fourth child and I take teachers' comments about my children very seriously. The point is that because you know your child so well, viewing her behavior in a classroom setting will tell you if you see that same behavior at home or other venues.

If possible, it's often best to view your child without being noticed by the class. You want to see, as accurately as possible, your child's behavior when she doesn't know that Mom or Dad is watching.

So remember, for your child's sake, stay as neutral as possible while working with his teacher. Do your best to gather the facts, stay calm and be the best advocate you can for your child. Only then will you be in a position to make useful decisions.

If the facts warrant it, be willing to face the hard truth that you have the beginnings of an out of control child. If this is the case, the sooner you see the situation for what it is, the sooner you can develop a plan and help your precious child stop his self-destructive behavior.

Learn How to Deal With an ADHD Child

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Managing a child with ADHD is quite a challenging process. However, gaining proper knowledge can help you to cope with him/her easily. First, you need to accept that there is a problem. Denying the problem neither helps you nor your child. You need to remember that parenting will require more patience than parenting a normal child. If you spouse is strict with the child, you need to be lenient. Following some simple tips can help to deal with the child better.





- The child is very sensitive to the environment. If there a lot of noise, clutter and movement, the child is less focused. You need to guard your child against over stimulus.





- The most important aspect of ADHD parenting is to spend as much time as possible with the child. You need to teach your child how to best function in the world. Do not allow the label to limit his potential.





- There are various natural treatments available to improve the symptoms. They help to calm the hyperactive child without causing any side effects. You can choose any of them that suit your child.





- It is advisable to engage the child in physical activities. You can allow him to play outdoors for hours, so that he can burn up his excess energy. If he feels tired, he will sleep better.





- Making your child to do certain things may make your life and his life more difficult. You can go for his choice of methods, whenever applicable. If he is not interested in listening to lesson directly, try to record them in a tape recorder and let him listen whenever he wants.





- Choosing right foods is an effective method to improve symptoms. Consuming lot of sugary foods, fried food and junk food is one of the causes of ADHD. Instead of these foods, give him fresh vegetables, fruits and multivitamins.





- You should not scold or accuse the child. An ADHD child is extremely sensitive and scolding him often may lead to emotional disorders like depression. You need to discuss with him, instead of blaming him.





- More often, the parent finds it extremely difficult to deal with the child that seems to be out of control. If the child hits or seems to enjoy torturing his sibling, you need to be patient in dealing with him. You know your child better than anyone knows. You should believe that you can change his behavior.





- It is wise to spend some time with other parents with ADHD children. You can join support groups and share your experiences with other parents.





- If your child has some behavioral problems, you can seek a special tutor to help him to cope with his learning disabilities.





- You should understand that you cannot change all the bad behaviors of your child at one time. You need to focus on one specific behavior and try to change it first. If your child continues to behave poorly, you need to remain calm. If you get angry or yell at him, it may make his condition worse.





Dealing with an ADHD child is a difficult and frustrating process. However there are many things you can do to make the process easier on both you and the child.

How to Deal With the Panic Attacks Children Experience

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When reviewing the panic attacks children suffer, it is important to distinguish between these attacks and panic disorders. Panic disorders are an anxiety disorder and are different in nature and severity. Panic attacks usually have identifiable symptoms that last for a short while, usually less than ten minutes. The symptoms of panic attacks usually subside without the need for outside interference and does not require accelerated treatment.

Children may not be able to understand what the symptoms of an attack mean. They may not be able to even explain the symptoms. They may be afraid that they are unwell, but would not associate symptoms with a heart attack, for example. If you are able to observe the attack while it is going on, you will be better able to deal with the symptoms so that you can offer appropriate help.

Some of the panic attack symptoms in children might be shortness of breath, hot or cold temperature, fear, dizziness, racing heart rate, trembling, nausea, or sweating. The symptoms are the bodies unconscious response to extreme danger. It is commonly known as flight or fight and may occur whether the danger is real or only perceived.

It is interesting that in panic attacks children may think that the cause is some particular outside event. For example, seeing a big dog and being afraid of the dog is linked to the intense fear they feel. The attacks can be related also to worry. The worry might be about grades or an upcoming stressful event that the child feels powerless to control. This can trigger an attack.

What is the best way to deal with the panic attacks children experience? The immediate action should be to provide comfort and reassurance. Physical holding and soothing words to let the child understand that they are okay is the immediate need. Parents who do not know for certain what is happening can be frightened, but must stay calm in order to help the child.

The parents needs to provide an image of centered support to the child. Do not react in an out of control manner, as this will make the situation worse. The attacks are usually only a few minutes in duration, so physical contact and sitting quietly will be of more help than calling for emergency services.

Once the immediate event is over, the parent needs to find out the underlying problem. Sometimes the child may not know what is actually bothering them. The parent might need to do a little digging or gentle questioning to determine that the child is worried about grades or about another child who is a bully.

While taking action to resolve panic attacks children have, parents have an excellent opportunity to model behavior that is appropriate for dealing with problems. Telling your child to quit worrying is not nearly as effective as showing the child how to deal with situations that are difficult to control. For instance if it is the school bully that is causing your child the grief then they need to be identified as a cause and reported to the school officials. Reassuring a child who is worried about grades might mean that letting them know that your love for them does not depend on an examination grade.

Parenting Help For Children 6-12 With Out-of-Control Or Violent Behavior

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Children aged 6 - 12 who display out-of-control or violent behavior, are often very angry. It is the duty of the parent to try to control this kind of behavior, particularly if it is pathological and it manifest in violent behavior toward their peers or caregivers.

While children should be allowed to display anger, it is a human emotion. Unhealthy anger is not acceptable, because it generally means the child is focused on revenge. They want to have power over others, and they will try to achieve this end through hostility and threats. Adaptive anger is healthy anger, which is used to express emotions and find a solution. Chronic anger results when the child sees themselves as being a victim and there is usually a very serious reason for this.

Parents who want to know how to deal with their children's anger, particularly if it is out-of-control and violent, are more than likely dealing with unhealthy or chronic and disturbing anger. They have to learn to recognize what they are dealing with before they can learn how to handle it, this is the ultimate goal.

Children who continually display outburst of unhealthy or chronic anger are going to experience a series of circumstances. They will not be invited to the same parties as other children, they lose friend and no-one want to play with them, they are often taken off teams in the sports they enjoy, have trouble with their brothers and sisters, and parent generally start thinking, where did I go wrong.

It is very important to act on this behavior as soon as it starts and not allow it to go unchecked. Anger which is indulged will only get worse. These children seek out peers you are violent and out of control and the behavior worsens until it is of epidemic proportions. The good news is that there is parenting help available, with many online resources available. These will help you to distinguish what the problem is with your child and how to go about rectifying it.

Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards? To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com

To Download My Brand New Ebook- "Unleash The Parental Leader Within!" Click here Unleash The Parental Leader Within!

Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar. He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client's homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.

Help Dealing With Out of Control Teens

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Do you feel that you may have an out of control teen? Is your teenager strong-willed, rebellious, disrespectful and defiant towards most everyone and everything? Are you at a loss for what you can do to stop this out of control behavior? Defiance is common in most teenagers. Most of the time they are just trying to establish their independence. While being independent is a good thing, defiance is not.

As a teenager my friends and I were considered out of control teens, so I remember how they feels. My parents didn't understand me or what I was going through. I now know that I was very normal and my parents did not realize that I was just fighting for my independence. My experiences have dramatically influenced how I now parent my own children.

Out of control teens can be helped. Some of the ways that you may be able to help include family or individual counseling, showing an interest in your child's activities, Talk about your expectations with your child. Remember to pick your battles. Don't judge everything your teen does. Look for the important things, and don't get upset and focus on the unimportant matters. It is very important let your child know that you are supportive and want to help.

There are signs that might indicate you have out of control teens on your hands. If your child is constantly losing their temper, regularly arguing with adults, Refusing to follow rules or comply with requests. Showing spitefulness and vindictiveness or is easily angered.

There are so many different reasons children become struggling out of control teens. There might be Conflict in the family or they may have witnessed family violence. They may have friends who abuse substances or engage in delinquent behavior. They may have a family history of mental disorders, addiction or problem behavior, or they may have experience a trauma in early childhood.

Parents often turn to the law for help with out of control teens. This approach usually back fires, and parents are left facing even bigger problems. The law is not a solution for out of control or troubled kids. Laws are made to punish, not to understand and help. Punishment only adds fuel to the fire. They have no concern for normal human behavior or raging hormones.

Out of control teens often say they want nothing to do with their parents. This is usually very far from the truth. Troubled teenagers often confide in there counselors that they don't get to spend enough time with their parents. Parents and their children need one-on-one time. Children require guidance and assistance and this remains imperative as they grow older. You need to identify what you are missing in your teen's life?

Educate yourself on out of control teens. Be willing to adapt your parenting style to what might possibly work better. Be willing to listen to someone who may be able to help. Remember, you can't control your teenager, but you can be a positive and powerful influence in their life. Do your part, be involved and show them the way.

Child Behavior For A Three Year Old

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Parenting Question

"I'm spiraling out of control with my three-year-old daughter. She won't listen
to me and I know that the 'naughty bench' isn't working. I'm at a total loss and
feel like such a failure. I don't want to hit her or use the kind of strong
verbal yelling that my parents did. What do I do? I want her to understand that
I'm the boss and when I ask her to do something or obey something, she should do
it. My father was giving me parenting advice today and I feel so out of control.
Is this normal child behavior for a three-year-old?"--Out-of-Control Mom

Positive Parenting Tip for Child Behavior for a Three Year Old

Dear Out-of-Control Mom:

Firstly, you are NOT a failure--just a mom who needs some new tools.

My guess is that you haven't had many courses on how to deal with three-year-old
behavior, so be gentle with yourself.

Many parents ask me what's "normal" when it comes to child behavior for a
three-year-old. No matter what your child's age, what it comes down to is this:
how is your child's behavior working for you, and how is it working for them.
From your question, I sense it just ain't working--period!

So let's first look at what is going on for your daughter. Children at the
pre-school stage are developing a whole host of new skills, including: wanting
more independence (for example, "No, I want to do it by myself!"); asserting
their wants ("I want that!"); and learning about friendship ("Give that back!").
One of the best things you can do when parenting a three-year-old is to support
your child in attaining these new skills without allowing them to become
demanding or spoiled. To ensure you don't fall into unhealthy habits that
promote power struggles, choose to use a firm--but kind--approach and look for
ways that your child can learn from each situation.

The more you can allow your three-year-old to do things on her own (and they
won't be perfect), the less likely she will be to fight you on everything. Look
for household tasks that she can do at her age and find ways that she can help
you out. Have her fill the dog bowl, hold the door open for you when you are
bringing groceries into the house, set the table, etc. The busier you can keep
her doing positive behaviors, the less chance she will move towards negative
ones.

Be warned: even if you take this approach, your daughter is still going to test
you. Below are six simple steps for dealing with three-year-olds when they just won't
listen:

1. Let Go of Timeouts - Timeouts can work for some children (but there
are far better techniques). Ultimately, the only person we can control is
ourselves. If timeouts are not working (that is, your child refuses to go to the
"naughty bench", stay on the "naughty bench", or tells you they make their own
rules and have moved the "naughty bench"), look for other ways to inspire them
to want to be well-behaved (as suggested in the following five steps).

2. Fire Yourself as Boss of the Household! - Many parents buy into the
belief that mom should be the boss of the household and be in control. Yet, we
must remember that we are modeling for our children how to act every single
minute of the day. Our kids learn more from what we do than from what we say. If
they see us pulling rank as "boss", they will attempt to be "boss" too.
Unfortunately, when this happens, they may outrank us and the real power
struggles will begin!

3. Provide Flexibility with Boundaries - Instead of boss, see yourself as
your child's coach or guide, responsible for providing them with experiences to
learn from and allowing them to experience the consequences of their actions.
Give clear guidelines, but also give them flexibility too. For example, "Your
toys need to be cleaned up before we go to Grandma's. Do you want to clean them
up now, or in 5 minutes from now?" If they still don't clean up, then you might
not go to Grandma's that day. Children need to know what the rules are and, more
importantly, they need to know you will follow-through with the rules. Once you
become consistent with your behavior, your children will learn to trust what you
say and will improve their behavior accordingly.

4. Stay Firm (but Kind) - If they fight, you follow-through. Do this
without yelling, scolding or punishing. Don't buy into their tears, and
definitely don't get into a debate. Stay firm, but stay kind. Tell them that
when they want a hug, to come find you. I know keeping your cool is easier said
than done. For more on this, check out the "Mom's Time-Out" section (page
111-114) of When You're About To Go Off The Deep End, Don't Take Your Kids
With You.

5. Use Consequences That Relate to Their Behavior - Punishment teaches
our kids to feel bad, but rarely teaches them how to "do good". If you are
encountering the same misbehaviors over and over again, your child is clearly
not learning from their mistakes. To facilitate learning, make certain any
consequences used are directly related to the misbehavior. For example, when
your child is rough with the computer, computer time is over; when your child is
splashing water out of the tub, bath time is over; or when your child is goofing
off with their food, dinner is over. Again, do these quickly, but kindly.

6. Thank and Appreciate Your Child for What They Do - Children want to
please and they want to know that their contributions make a difference.
Remember to tell them so--and often.

Learning how to motivate our children to want to be well-behaved takes time and
practice. Yet, taking the time now to learn these tools can save you years of
heartache and frustration. Keep reading, keep practicing, and keep empowering
that three-year-old of yours: then watch their behavior change for the better!

Out of Control Kids - How Are You Going to Deal With Them?

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Are you afraid of another meltdown in the mall? Apart from the getting the child to be reasonable again, it will take all your courage and determination to get back to normal. Actually, a meltdown in toddlers is just one of a number of ways that can manifest itself when you have out of control kids. The reason for the meltdown will most probably be hunger, tiredness or just being upset at being dragged around the mall. A great way to avoid this is to reduce the number of trips to the mall and try and dedicate more time to green activities in the open air. One survey actually showed that children in malls were much more likely to be Out of Control Kids.





Later, back at home, you have to face other displays of out of control kids. What can you do? I think the main criterion of any behavior plan is what you expect your kids to do and how they should behave. There is a bottom line and certain things will have zero tolerance on your part. The kids will need to be told this and they will know the limits. Also, you can establish what they have to do like certain chores and various other things.





What are the consequences for out of control kids misbehaving in your family? Depending on their age, children need to be aware of the consequences which you have decided to enforce. With younger children, time out may work. With older kids and teens, you have to discuss with them what privileges will be lost such as computer time, TV and so on.





How much time have you devoted to bonding with your kids, recently? We know that kids from violent and unhappy homes are most likely to repeat the awful cycle of violence with their own children. Kids who come from a loving stable home are much more likely to develop into mature and fulfilled adults. Think of the following examples and ask yourself these questions. Do you reprimand a child by yelling or shouting? How much time have you spent listening to your child recently? What is your normal tone of vice- nagging, critical or calm and reassuring? Think of activities which you can do together so that bonding can be facilitated. What are the values and skills that you are passing on to your child?





Out of control kids can create havoc with family life. There may be problems of not just acting out but also problems at school, lack of motivation and aggression towards siblings. Then there may be cases of bullying, lying and generally abusive behavior. How do you react? By taking a child behavior program, you can learn exactly how to deal with each of these situations and the cost is so reasonable that you will have the whole course for the cost of two or three counselling sessions with a family therapist.

Does Your Out of Control Child Have Oppositional Defiant Disorder Causing Their Behaviour Problems?

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An out of control child or even worse, out of control children, can be a nightmare to parents. Despite all their best efforts and the use of many different parenting skills and techniques, the behaviour of an out of control child likely will not improve. This causes numerous arguments within the family, and a great deal of embarrassment outside in public, when their behaviour turns nasty and disrespectful. So what can you do?

Well, first of all, you have to realize that your child's behaviour may be a recognized medical problem, called Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and if their behaviour has continued for more than six months, you should week the help of a recognized medical professional.

So what is Oppositional Defiant Disorder, thankfully shortened to ODD?

According to WebMD.com "ODD is a condition in which a child displays an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, hostile and annoying behaviour toward people in authority." (webmd.com/mental-health/oppositional-defiant-disorder).

This is not to say that when your two year old has temper tantrums that this is a case of ODD. No, Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a behaviour problem that has been present for at least six months. The temper tantrums and defiant behaviour of two year olds is generally over in a shorter time than this (thank goodness), but the behaviour patterns are the same: the throwing of temper tantrums repeatedly, the arguing with adults continually, the refusing to do as requested by parents or other adults, the outbursts of anger and spite, the language deterioration of swearing and using obscene language, very noticeable in teens with this disorder, the saying of hurtful things, and the blaming others for their mistakes.

When all this continues for over six months, you can understand why parents are at the end of their tether. They are simply overwhelmed with frustration that none of their methods in dealing with their child have brought relief. They feel guilty that their child behaves so badly, that they themselves are responsible for their child being this way, that their parenting skills are bad.

So, what causes Oppositional Defiant Disorder? Although the exact cause of ODD is not presently known, it is believed to be a combination of biological, genetic and environment factors, and there are some studies that indicate that defects in certain areas of the brain, or damage to these areas can lead to this serious condition.

ODD may occur in children of any age, and of course in adolescents.

What is even more disturbing is that these children with ODD often have other mental issues like ADHD, depression or learning disorders.

Furthermore, there are studies that indicate that it affect 20% of school-aged children, and that it is more common in boys than girls.

Obviously with these numbers you would hope that there is a solution, and although research has helped some improve their behaviour, there still needs to be a great deal more.

So where does this leave the parents of an Oppositional Defiant Disorder child? Well, first of all, they must realize that their child does have a recognized mental disorder, and that it is not their poor parenting skills that has caused the problems. And secondly, with this realization, and the support of the medical community, there is help available to parents to battle this. And of course, there are other techniques of dealing with these children, since they do not respond appropriately to the more normal techniques of dealing with poor and inappropriate behaviour. Get support from your medical community, both for yourself and your child, as there is information available to help you.

 
How to deal with Out of Control Children | © 2011