An out of control child or even worse, out of control children, can be a nightmare to parents. Despite all their best efforts and the use of many different parenting skills and techniques, the behaviour of an out of control child likely will not improve. This causes numerous arguments within the family, and a great deal of embarrassment outside in public, when their behaviour turns nasty and disrespectful. So what can you do?
Well, first of all, you have to realize that your child's behaviour may be a recognized medical problem, called Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and if their behaviour has continued for more than six months, you should week the help of a recognized medical professional.
So what is Oppositional Defiant Disorder, thankfully shortened to ODD?
According to WebMD.com "ODD is a condition in which a child displays an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, hostile and annoying behaviour toward people in authority." (webmd.com/mental-health/oppositional-defiant-disorder).
This is not to say that when your two year old has temper tantrums that this is a case of ODD. No, Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a behaviour problem that has been present for at least six months. The temper tantrums and defiant behaviour of two year olds is generally over in a shorter time than this (thank goodness), but the behaviour patterns are the same: the throwing of temper tantrums repeatedly, the arguing with adults continually, the refusing to do as requested by parents or other adults, the outbursts of anger and spite, the language deterioration of swearing and using obscene language, very noticeable in teens with this disorder, the saying of hurtful things, and the blaming others for their mistakes.
When all this continues for over six months, you can understand why parents are at the end of their tether. They are simply overwhelmed with frustration that none of their methods in dealing with their child have brought relief. They feel guilty that their child behaves so badly, that they themselves are responsible for their child being this way, that their parenting skills are bad.
So, what causes Oppositional Defiant Disorder? Although the exact cause of ODD is not presently known, it is believed to be a combination of biological, genetic and environment factors, and there are some studies that indicate that defects in certain areas of the brain, or damage to these areas can lead to this serious condition.
ODD may occur in children of any age, and of course in adolescents.
What is even more disturbing is that these children with ODD often have other mental issues like ADHD, depression or learning disorders.
Furthermore, there are studies that indicate that it affect 20% of school-aged children, and that it is more common in boys than girls.
Obviously with these numbers you would hope that there is a solution, and although research has helped some improve their behaviour, there still needs to be a great deal more.
So where does this leave the parents of an Oppositional Defiant Disorder child? Well, first of all, they must realize that their child does have a recognized mental disorder, and that it is not their poor parenting skills that has caused the problems. And secondly, with this realization, and the support of the medical community, there is help available to parents to battle this. And of course, there are other techniques of dealing with these children, since they do not respond appropriately to the more normal techniques of dealing with poor and inappropriate behaviour. Get support from your medical community, both for yourself and your child, as there is information available to help you.
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