Parents, Do You Have an Out of Control Child That is Stressing You Out?

No one ever said that parenting was easy, and in fact, there doesn't seem to be any rhyme nor reason as to why some parents end up with great kids while others suffer sleepless nights thanks to their out of control child or children. Even within the same family, some children are near perfect while another is totally out of control. Why does this happen? How does this happen? We shall take a look at this topic here, and see what can be done about it too!

I know families who swear they have brought their children up with the same standards as another, but still one has gone off the rails. What do I mean by this? Their child has an attitude problem that you wouldn't believe. There is no respect for anyone from this child, and no respect for belongings either. There is little or no communication, since talking generally leads to more rows, and more disrespect from their child or teenager. There are dishonesty issues, tantrums and temper issues to deal with, along with a great deal of defiance.

I think it is generally known that everyone learns in a different way. Some people learn best by be shown something, others from hearing it, others by actually using the information, and this applies equally well to control, whether it is control by a parent, or by a teacher in the classroom. We all tend to learn rights and wrongs differently. A child may respond to discipline by being denied a treat, whereas to another an explanation of the wrong-doing is sufficient.

And then there is the out of control child who doesn't respond to the usual disciplining techniques. These usual techniques result in attitude problems and defiant behaviour. But did you know that there is something called Oppositional Defiant Disorder which is a recognized psychiatric category listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Wikipedia ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oppositional_defiant_disorder ) describes Oppositional Defiant Disorder "as an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behaviour toward authority figures which goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behaviour". In other words, there is in fact a mental disorder which may be affecting your out of control child.

But does knowing about Oppositional Defiant Disorder change anything? Yes it does, to begin with, it gives parents some relief. There child has a disorder, it isn't necessarily their bad parenting skills, and although this sounds strange, this can be a huge relief for parents. They no longer feel guilty that they are at fault for their child's ongoing tantrums and bad behaviour, and also, they are then able to seek medical help and support to deal with their out of control child.