Nothing can be more frustrating for a parent than an ADHD tantrum. When your child goes into meltdown mode, it's natural for parents to feel like a failure - especially if the tantrum takes place in public. People passing by toss you judgmental looks, and the more sympathetic, well-meaning ones offer "helpful" tips that sound slightly condescending.
Tantrums come hand in hand with childhood ADHD for several reasons. First, young children don't have the same control over their emotions as others their own age; they're impulsive and give in to their feelings rather than thinking their actions through. Children with ADHD are also easily frustrated, and when the world around them doesn't make sense or doesn't go their way, they express this frustration through a tantrum. So what can you do if your child starts throwing a fit? Here are some ways to deal with an ADHD meltdown.
Stay calm
Your child's behavior is out of control, which means you have to stay calm and in control. Acknowledge what your child is feeling without a long lecture, and say that you're willing to work things out reasonable. For instance, if your child is throwing a fit at the supermarket, try to reason by saying, "I know that you want to leave, but you need to wait a few minutes while I finish up."
Don't reward the tantrum
Don't do anything more to the tantrum beyond reasoning with your child. Obviously, you don't want your child to think that throwing a tantrum is the best way to get what he or she wants. Additionally, punishing your child or yelling back will only make things worse and will prolong the behavior in the long run.
Ignore
Sometimes, it's best to simply ignore your child's behavior. Let your child express himself or herself. For instance, if your child started melting down because she wants candy and you say no, ignore the tantrum. It might be very embarrassing, but it's worth it. Giving in to your child's demands will only validate the behavior.
How to avoid ADHD meltdowns
Tantrums indicate that a child is having difficulty doing something. You can avoid tantrums by being aware of your child's tolerance level and identifying situations that trigger meltdowns. For instance, if your child gets bored while doing the groceries, find a babysitter when you need to run errands at the supermarket. Give small rewards when your child behaves - this will reinforce the desired behavior. You might also want to let your child take the reins over small decisions to give him or her a sense of control. Offer choices like, "Do you want to wash the dishes before or after homework?" Once things have calmed down and returned to normal, be sure to give your child a big hug.
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